When does it get easier?

So it's been a while since I last posted....

I've now finished BERTIE. The course was amazing. I made some really great friends, and now have a fantastic support group when and if I need it, and that is invaluable. I learnt so much over those 4 days. I'm still learning now. Carb-counting is better than it was, but it's going back to the drawing board on the things that need to be weighed rather than guessing that's the hardest part.

I slacked for a few weeks after finishing the course, but I realised it and did something about it and now I'm back on writing everything I eat, inject and test results down - diabetes is too complicated to manage if you don't have all the information available. Without these figures you can't look for any patterns or trends and try to make basal or bolus adjustments. And I am not expert enough to go without these pieces of information.

Last week I also joined the gym...this may end up being a separate blog as I suspect it's going to take a lot of getting used to! Contrary to everything that's happened to me when exercising in the past, so far every time I've gone I've ended up in the high teens...and then have to stop as I learned we're not supposed to exercise over 14mmols/l. This could be a good thing though as it will help my weight loss if I don't have to eat in order to exercise, but I need to get the balance right. We'll see what Body Combat does to me tonight!

It is all taking it's toll though. Maybe it's the time of year, maybe it's too many late nights, maybe I'm trying to do too much, but I am incredibly tired (and not through high bloods!!). I am also finding myself forgetting things and it's harder to concentrate. These are the things that are really worrying me. Maybe there's just not enough room in my brain to learn a subject that could be compared to studying for a neverending degree, on top of full-time work, trying hard to keep up with close friendships and seeing family, watching my beloved Charlton, going to the gym, and trying to be a supportive wife.

The problem is that the more I seem to learn, the more there is that I don't know. It just feels as if I'm not getting anywhere, and I hate that thought that I have a disease that I live with daily but I don't even understand it. I should know all there is to know, right? But I don't. I'm trying but I think I just have to accept it's going to take time and just keep trying to build on my current knowledge. Yep, small steps it is....ooo what to learn about first..?!